Finally, one rainy day, I walked in dripping wet, and that same man that pushed me out, shook his head and gave me a library card. Willie Fuffner: Because, he humiliated me! That one friend who says going to gym will solve everything. He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons. You're setting a bad example for the kids. Laura Lee Winslow: One of them is my best friend. Carl Otis Winslow: Well yeah. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Not when it's swirling around a porcelain tank. Steve Urkel: Really? Steve Urkel: L-long enough to get i-icicles on my nose hair Look! Ms. Steuben: Yeah, well Steven, you're not taking Home Ec. You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's. Steven Quincy Urkel: [Grabs a blanket and a pillow and heads to the bathroom only to rush back out seconds later] No! My daughter's been hurt and I can't do a thing about it. When I was born when the doctor slapped me, I SHOT him! I'm a person, and I have feelings, and I demand to be treated with respect and dignity! Laura: Steve, you like this kind of music? Dad took Waldo instead of me. No. In fact, they finally introduced me to my grandparents. I just got a job! Rachel Crawford: I'm what? You ever been down to the slaughterhouse? A mouse to cheese! Harriette Winslow: Did I embarrass you, Carl? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I have been scared straight, I saw a guy who had a tattoo of a battleship. She xeroxed it over and over and over and over and [Steve covers his mouth for one second. Steve Urkel: Yeah, but now I have an excuse. 12. r/Unexpected. Anybody have more punch? Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Laura: Well, he's all yours, Eddie. Did I do that? Carl: Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead? Steve Urkel: Calm down? Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: The party doesn't start until 9 and my curfew's at 10. Uh, we're, uh, playin' hide and seek! Well, why didn't you tell me? I'm jealous of Todd and you want me to help him. He's half-Nerd, Half-Carl. Who? Carl Otis Winslow: [to the racist cop who pulled Eddie over] You know, I don't know how that badge stays up, because it's pinned to sludge. Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart. You understand? You showed me a picture of your dog. It's either a number or a letter! I'm being rejected in my own fantasy. [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. Gosh I bet that's never happened before. He woke me up too. The truth is you deserve a kiss. Urkelbot: [Joe Friday Impression] Just the facts, ma'am. Whoa, I'm being pushed back in! They help move along our sentences. Would you reward me with a kiss? They help move along our sentences. Carl: Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom? Steve Urkel: I think it's because these pants are so loose! STANDS4 LLC, 2023. What did you do? Steve Urkel: It wasn't that play that cost you the championship. Laura Lee Winslow: I don't know, and quite frankly, I'm tired of thinking about it. Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, cool. Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! Introducing yourself to someone new is always scary, whether you're on an app or in person, since the possibility of rejection is part of the deal. aries: "You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied. I mean, you are very Laura: Let's just put it this way You have the perfect face for your head. [Urkelbot throws robber into a pile of soupcans]. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What's wrong? What's for dinner, milk and cookies? I wanna take it home and read it to my mom. Stefan Urkelle: It's not just a transformation chamber. Seems I'm having all the luck. Some of our pickup lines are real-life applicable. He's fanning his hace with a plate as Eddie walks in]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to a sorority girl] That dress is so tight! Laura: Sure. Eddie: I meant, I haven't seen her today. Steve Urkel: I've invented nuclear batteries. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, that kid is bad news. Chocum hi chip chok!". next semester, are ya? I don't *ever* want to work for you again. Harriette: This feud between you and Nick is getting out of control. I wanna read it to my mom. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. Third, if you touch me at any time, the "non-date" is over. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No no no no no. The wind has chapped my lips. Laura Lee Winslow: Oh you're not a sorority, you're a bunch of vicious, stuck up barracudas with teased hair and push up bras. [Harriette laughs as Laura leaves the living room to help Mother Winslow get ready]. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. Harriette Winslow: Carl, those are my personal and private thoughts. Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem. Laura: We're not going anywhere until the ground rules are straight. Empty the cash register! You're wrong, the maitre'd gave me a two for one coupon. Carl: Rachel, Carl was my great grandfather's name and there is no way that I'm gonna change it. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's a work of Harriette, get it, Art, Harriette? Steven Quincy Urkel: I wasn't the one who overslept, Ms. Rip Van Winslow. Curtis: I don't know how to tell you this, but I have to tell you straight out. Especially this one, since Urkel breaks the fourth wall at the end. Steve could've been killed. But I have feelings, too. [Carl hits the mantel] Carl. Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. My, what strong arms. Lionel: Really? And I like the Red Sox. Just as I thought. Willie Fuffner: [sigh] That's different. What do you have to say for yourselves? Harriette: Soon, baby. Cassie Lynn: Becky Sue! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: These last 2 weeks have been wonderful for me. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You remember our flyer party, the one that I'm clearly on record as totally aganst. Steve Urkel: By any chance, is that something you enjoy? He held operations in Chicago. Carl Otis Winslow: Two stalks of broccoli and three pieces of asparagus? You're standing on my finger! Laura Lee Winslow: Does shag carpet also make you crazy? Laura Lee Winslow: Then she demanded her money back when she found out that she modeled ladies underwear. [He leaves the house]. Laura: I mean it, Waldo. Harriette Winslow: Then clean it up, I'm still on strike. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I almost wore that same suit. [picks up a single serving container of gross looking food in the cafeteria]. this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. [the half nerd side of Carl goes into the anatomy of worms. Check it out: Urkelbot: [Dirty Harry Impression] Go ahead, punk! Because, I already told him I do remember him. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. None of this is your fault. Steve Urkel: Waldo, how could you do this to me? Let's keep this one! Laura and Judy, divide up the rest between Barbie doll fans and Lego lovers and get them upstairs too! Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Tries to hold Eddie from pounding their friends] Eddo. All the doo da day. Harriette: [sobbing] Clint is driving off and Meryl will never see him again! Will you marry me? Steve Urkel: Carl, I brought the notes to go over with Laura. Laura Lee Winslow: Well that really bugs me. Harriette: I don't know. Harriette Winslow: Well, Eddie said something came up, but he promised he'd empty the trash tomorrow. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. [Grabs and kisses her. Carl Otis Winslow: Don't get cute with me Harriet. Carl Otis Winslow: You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, they applauded when we left. We'll go camping together some other time. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's that? Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. Laura: That you'll never go into outer space again, Steve Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. Let's just get there! Steve Urkel: [while Laura and Maxine hit Steve with two Boston Cream Pies] No, AAH!, WAAAH! It's a beautiful language. Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a a really special moment and well, I think we should celebrate it by getting married. Harriette Winslow: You hit my husband again and you'll have to answer to me. The only reason I asked you to be my partner was because I was worried about my grade. Carl Otis Winslow: [Gasps] Why of all the low down Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Calm down, Carl. Lt.Murtaugh: Do you know that woman Winslow? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: All the way home, and the next day I cried all the way back to the library. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: I demand satisfaction. Now you're going to find out what it's like to be Steve Urkel. Harriette Winslow: [enters the house and sees Curtis] Hi. When the door opens Carl appears dessed up as Steve normally dresses with his glasses]. Robber: [threatens Steve] You! [puts his thumb as his mouth, baby voice] If I were five. Steve Urkel: How tough am I? I mean we've made contributions to this country for over 300 years, but you wouldn't know it looking at most history books, it's not fair. I bought a new dress and you say you can't take me? In Season 1 he was a supporting character and made his first appearance as a background character in Rachel's First Date and had his first major role in "Laura's First Date", however as of Season 2 he was officially considered a main character . Forget it, Steve. Cop: [Searching Willie and Waldo] Ok, where did you hide the booze? Harriette Winslow: Yeah. THIS? Steve Urkel: Oh, no buts! Is that the problem? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I'm missing the parade. Steve Urkel: [thinking he's playing hide and seek with Laura, Eddie, & Judy and a shower starts running] That shower running doesn't fool me Laura! Laura: Ma, the package said to cook it at 275 for 20 minutes. [Eddie sits down and Carl grabs his hair]. I know how you feel about Laura. Ms. Steuben: I know, Steven. Carl Otis Winslow: I'll tell you what son, why not give me cash for Christmas. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well it wasn't funny. The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura doesn't want a date with me. I'll grab my stuff and I'll be out of here tomorrow. The valet gave me a tip. Self respect. You have the right to have an attorney present. Family Matters is a comedy that has many serious episodes, something many sitcoms delve into from time to time, but "Good Cop, Bad Cop" is possibly their best offering of drama. Steve Urkel: [Steve is suing Carl on the TV show Citizen's Court and Waldo has been called as a witness] Waldo, how did you feel about Pablo? Harriette Winslow: [retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! Steve Urkel: No, I don't like to disturb anyone. Carl: You know, bowling was a great idea. Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. I can turn you down without destroying your ego. Why are you guys dressed like that? [the oven explodes from the kitchen and Waldo emerges], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I think we're gonna need a new stove and a floor to put it on. Rachel Crawford: Steve, are you sure you're okay? Look I clued everybody in. Harriette: Don't even think like that. Why she is woman, hear me roar. If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I feel so safe in Raoul's strong arms I love him soo much and I sorta like Carl. Laura: Not when the bomb is in the basement with you! Let me tell you something though Weasel. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, well. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Where are we going, Willie? It's not fair. Steve Urkel: 'Standardized Urkel Elementary Math Exam'. Carl: Stefan, you gotta help me. Laura: Is it my imagination or is your voice lower? I'll take this up later with the Lieutenant. Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth! But you know what, I find her very attractive. Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. I've had more food than this stuck in between my teeth. Carl: I just had the worst day of my entire life. Estelle Winslow: Your great grandfather's name was Lester. Your grandma is gonna fight for your right to party. And instead of admitting to it, you got yourself involved in gambling. Laura: Yeah, every time I used the bug spray. Originally slated to have been a one-time only character on the show, he soon became its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist.. Steve is the epitome of a geek/nerd, with large, thick eyeglasses, flood . Ms. Steuben: Steve, it's not a good sign when you have to give your bread a pep talk. I didn't expect you to be in there and I feel like such a worm. [Comes in the lving room with Mother Winslow as Eddie is taking his frustrations out on his sack of dirty laundry because Carl has just taken Waldo to the Chicago Bulls game instead of him]. I'm in this class. Cassie Lynn: That may be what happened, but that won't be what the people believe. Carl Otis Winslow: Might have. [laughs]. Rachel Crawford: She keeled over leading a game of Simon says! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Next Saturday. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. Steve Urkel: Because, I love you love you love you! Steve Urkel: Oh, please, Laura. 8. Excuse me Waldo, is there something written on your arm? Curtis Williams: I'm Curtis Williams. Ouchith! Got anything in the fridge? Steve is the perfect son. Now let me get this straight, you dented the car. We should put those pictures in the school paper. Rachel Crawford: The balcony scene is next. Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. [Faces Eddie] Look at him, charming, handsome, popular. [Notices Maxine & Laura left the living room] Well, I thought it was a good story. Pick a general observation about her personality. And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. Laura: I couldn't have done this without you. Harriette Winslow: You were gone for three hours. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That's one month longer than they taught it to me. Steve Urkel: Okay. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [after Steve, Eddie & Waldo sang 'My Girl'] Don't we remind you of The Temptations? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: That's hotties, Steve. Laura: We're not going anywhere. It meant a lot to me. Laura: [Long pause] Your looks. Steve Urkel: Why, I can see the headlines now! I don't know what to say. Laura Lee Winslow: If you're really my guardian angel, where're your wings and your harp? Carl: Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of a guy named Weasel. Harriette Winslow: Carl, I save every card you give me. Raoul asked me out, but I told him that I was happily married. Never snort with a hangover! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: All right. Steve Urkel: Laura? Steve Urkel: Hey, I was following Eddie's instructions. Judge Vance: All right, young man, call your first witness. You refuse to go out with me for the last decade! Anywhere away from my Laura. Edward! Carl Otis Winslow: [packing up the camping gear] Boy that was great, a family weekend in the wilderness. Right now you have over a 100 crazed teenagers in your backyard ready to boogie. Grab a blanket and go sleep in the bathtub. You may be my boss, but that does not give you the right to come into my home and be obnoxious to my husband and his friends.