Traditional Hmong ceremonies are a huge aspect of Hmong culture. What happens after a man brings a woman home? Light is considered pure, it dispels darkness, nourishes life, and illuminates everything. oer blessings to the baby and the couple, proceeding from oldest to youngest. From 1790-1860, the Hmong fled south from Chinese persecution into Burma, Thailand, Laos, and Vietnam. Nov 27, 2017 - Traditional Hmong hand tie blessing ceremony/ hu plis kis tes centerpiece. A number of roles are important to the funeral process. The wedding is then initiated by the bride's father or the clan leader who introduces the resident maykong to the guest maykong. Many Hmong funerals will also have a table set up to accept money, too. The Hmong Funeral When a Hmong dies, his or her soul must travel back to every place the. A Hmong wedding is a complicated event in which the bride and groom are the reason, but not the center of attention. The Hmong "Proposal" There are three typical ways for a traditional Hmong marriage to begin: 1. . Thetxiv xaivreceives words that the deceased were not able to say to their loved ones while they were still alive and so use thetxiv xaivas a medium. Family, friends, and relatives pick up a white string and tie it on the honored person's hand while chanting a blessing. What should a guest not do at a Hmong wedding? Facebook. Guests from the groom's side should use the opposite hand. 2. Funeral rites are a cornerstone of the Hmong faith and culture. The children can choose to belong to their stepfathers clan (by accepting his surname, his family spirits, and relatives)or they can choose to remain with their original clan (the family, spirits, and relatives of their deceased father.). [3] For example, a Xiong may not marry another Xiong. 8. During these four days, women areintensively cooking and serving food/drinks orcomforting close relatives of the deceased. 4. (Cha, 2010) (See section The Engagement). Their faith is focused on the reincarnation of a persons soul in the next life. Meanwhile men are:socializing with one another,helping with paying expenses for the funeral,chopping and preparing meat oroffering chicken to the deceased. So I grabbed my embroidery thread and began to braid her a blessing string. A funeral of this length means that the deceased is a well-respected person and has lived a wonderful life. Because of this, theDab Pogno longer surrounds the house like theXwm Kab. 2. There are 2-4txiv qeej, men who play theqeej,an instrument that can be used for musical or ritual purposes. Inform the person next to you of the name and each round of drinks before drinking. Hmong Funeral Songs and Music. The bride runs away to the grooms house. They must also bring in a basket containing a small cooked pig, rice, a bottle of wine, and other ceremonial items. Services last continually, 24 hours a day until Monday. The elder in charge of hosting the funeral then divvies up the cooked food items to serve to guests. Once you take a seat, stay for the entiretyof the wedding. 3:30 PM -4:30 PM Hmong Blessing Ceremony (Hu Plig Khis Tes) Legacy Hill Farm. Ceremonial rites, including songs and prayers, take place during these 13 days. Your email address will not be published. Family, friends, and relatives pick up a white string and tie it on the honored persons hand while chanting a blessing. Hand tie ceremony is a ceremony to give blessings to the newly weds. Hmong wedding traditions are believed to have taken root with the two sons who survived the gray flood which cleansed humanity. Usage of any form or other service on our website is The dinner consists of only meat and drinks and all except the bride and groom of the wedding party are honored and money for the wedding is exchanged. This is the way in which Hmong parents usually wish in which their daughter will be married off, and it is viewed as bringing honor to the family. You might be invited to play card games, and its a good idea to offer help with tasks like cleaning up the dishes. The Hmong people believe that theDab Pog,a spirit world couple, are responsible for bringing children to their Hmong parents. Others choose only the Western ceremony and reception but include some Hmong-inspired details in dcor, food, and other cultural ideas. 9. If just the husband wants to divorce his wife without any firm grounds, the husband will have to come up with some money to send the wife back to her family with all the children, as the husband will be the one choosing to leave the household. At the end of the three-day long funeral, the deceased person is buried and all of the decorations made of paper money are burned so that the deceased person will go to a new place with the resources necessary for a comfortable life. He also kneels in front of various spiritual deitiesof the house and ancestors. However, this is generally a symbolic kidnapping as the girl is allowed to refuse to go. Do not talk negatively or about negative things. This link will open in a new window. Once the couple has permission to wed, the grooms father asks the spirit ancestors for a blessing, welcoming the bride into their family. Having knowledge about what happens during the wedding ceremony can provide an insight into Hmong culture and can aid anyone planning on attending one. If the bride acts poorly in any way, she will be safely returned to the family and they will attempt to mend the marriage. First, a wedding crew is assembled. However, if it is determined the husband had committedadultery or married a second wife and the wife can not continue being part of the family, she will have the option to leaving her husband without paying back the dowry. Then, the couple will return to the house of the brides family at the end of the first wedding feast. Hmong American weddings are a mix of new and old customs. A graduation party at the park can also be a Khi Tes ceremony for the graduate. On the third day, the burial typically takes place. Unlike typical Western funeral attire, during a Hmong funeral ceremony, attendeesespecially relatives and descendants of the deceasedshould dress down. Dont try to push conversation about the deceased, but dont shy away from it, either. The fees for the advice of an attorney should not be compared to the fees of do-it-yourself online Read more, Hmong Shamanism is practiced in the private homes of members of the Hmong community, tucked away in cities like Minneapolis and Saint Paul. Protestantism allowed no compromise or room . At the front door of the house, the shaman will ring a gong while calling for the lost spirit. What does the wedding ceremony consist of? It takes place in the home of the deceased, where family members will wait until it is time to perform the xi. The ceremony typically lasts three days and includes the burning of incense and money. It should be noted that this is an old tradition that is rarely practiced today in many Western Nations. Watch. For many Hmong, who come from isolated mountain villages in Laos, their first encounter with western ways came when the CIA recruited them in the 1960s to fight the Viet Cong. Instead, a Hmong family and the community, including a shaman, prepare the body and host the funeral themselves. Hmong New Year celebrations frequently occur in November and December (traditionally at the end of the harvest season when all work is done), serving as a thanksgiving holiday for the Hmong people. Your email address will not be published. Along the way to the gravesite, the funeral procession can often go down a confusing route or make purposeful mistakes to confuse evil spirits. Do not bring your own drinks, but drink what is being offered you. If youre attending the Hmong funeral of a friend, feel free to offer any gift that feels suitable to you. After the funeral and burial, the Hmong people believe that the soul remains at its gravesite for 13 days. There are a few rounds of drinks, honorings of ancestors and spirits, and thanksgiving done at the groom's home before the wedding is finally considered over. Create a free website to honor a loved one who has passed away. GitHub export from English Wikipedia. Hmong funeral rites are elaborate and meaningful, and they must be performed correctly. To seal the deal, the maykong will "sweep the table" (Cha, 2010). 3. Nope, the groom's party processes the same way they came. A Simple Vow Renewal With Recognition of Children, Qu Usar Y Qu No Usar Como Oficiante De Bodas. Yes! Money is handed over to the bride's family and the materials the groom's family brought are handed over to the bride's family's maykong. A large feast at the grooms family home is next, followed by another feast and a long negotiation at the brides home, helped along by the families mej koob (marriage negotiator). 4. The maykong then sit at a table and three rounds of drinks are ordered for formalities, and then the negotiations begin. We burn this money on the day of the burial. (Lwm qaib) She will not be allowed to visit anyones house for three days after this. The family members of the deceased will stay at the funeral for the entirety of the three days and nights and comfort each other. It is mainly to call upon the spirits of the house to protect the house. Thus when thetxiv xaivchants, the deceased will be able to hear his voice and take the correct journey home. They have no designated clergy or places of worship, although the txiv neeb (or shaman) plays a key role in many of their religious rites and healings. If just the wife wants to divorce her husband without any firm grounds, the marriage dowry must be returned to the husbands family, as the wife will be the one choosing to leave the household. This link will open in a new window. Required fields are marked *. One last round of drinks sends the guests home. Legends and Myths; (Cha, 2010) (See section The Engagement). Wedding Planner Magazine is a print publication that educates and inspires the wedding industry, By Anna Senrick, Sunrise Styling, LLC, St. Paul, Minn. photos by merina burda photography. I came upon the idea of Hmonderns Blessing Strings this summer when I had missed a dear persons Khi Tes ceremony, my cousin Chia Vang whom I had grown up with. Two of these chickens are from the groom's side and the other two are from the bride's side. Thanks everyone for coming! pdfs.semanticscholar.org/8019/d3f4d138acd7b6d1027b8d2048daf834c220.pdf. During the cafe MN guests will be offered to tie a white string around the wrists of each family member and in doing so a gift is given to the family. Afterward, the pregnant woman and her family prepare for a feast. If you don't have money people also give boiled eggs or candy (whatever is on the center piece). At 5 p.m., my groom arrives with his best man, or phib laj, and two negotiators, or mej koob. An introduction to hmong culture. Any information you provide to Cake, and all communications between you and Cake, Originally, Hmong funeral services lasted for 7 days. Whats Right for You? Loss is hard. This ornate golden heart is often made with various colors of joss paper. The fourth day is the day of the burial. Only then can the soul be reincarnated. Readers Review Wedding Industry Software. The traditional songs include "Song of Mounting the Way" and "Departure of the Deceased," which are played on a special instrument called a qeej.The qeej is made of bamboo, which is, believed to be the first plant on earth. Hmoob Cultural and Community Agency, Inc (HCCA) 1815 Ward Avenue La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 781-5744 Fax: (608) 781-5011 Hours: Monday - Thursday: 9:00 A.M. - 4:30 P.M. Friday: 9:00 A.M. - 12:00 P.M. Monday & Friday : Close Tuesday & Thursday: 9:00 A.M. - 4:00 P.M. Wednesday: 12:00 P.M. - 4:00 P.M. STAFF CONTACT INFORMATION A blessing over the couple is said. , which means the Hmong people believe all living things are interconnected. They were days away from the front line when the French surrendered to the Communist Viet Minh; this effectively ended French rule in Southeast Asia. This health-like ritual is often performed for a family member who is recovering from a sickness. The engagement ceremony is the ceremony that restores the fact that the human ancestors Adam and Eve fell during the engagement period. They invite the soul to visit their home in preparation for its journey. Learn from the Pros to Officiate with Confidence! Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com. The maykong will then lead the rest of the group in celebration and drinking. The Hmong world is inhabited by a variety of natural, ancestral, and supernatural spirits or gods. In Hmong weddings, details and pre-wedding arrangements are handled by the family members and clan leaders. How long does the typical Hmong wedding last? Money is usually exchanged as well as a token of good faith. Nowadays, many couples skip day one and three of the traditional Hmong wedding and only have a big party along with the hand-tying ceremony. Other acceptable gifts for a Hmong funeral include food and donations to help cover funeral costs. The daughter did this and was married off. The maykong will then conclude and announce that there will be no more drinks. It does not matter if she agrees, and once she enters the man's house there is no going back. After an autopsy takes place (if necessary), a designated family elder begins the rites by gathering extended family members. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. forms. As the story goes, a young girl felt ready to get married yet her parents did not approve of it. During the 4 day ceremony the girls must abide by certain rules, preventing them to wass or touch their skin, or drink from anything other than their drinking tubes. I saw one of your pictures, you had a bowl with money, is this something guest usually give? Good luck! My best friend invited me to her son's blessing this weekend, but I have no idea what I should take or if I need to. This is more substantial than the bride and groom only exchanging vows, for it shows the level of the union between the two entire families. Respected elders of the neighbourhood and dedicated Buddhist followers sit facing the monks. Negotiations of price and gifts can take several hours to complete. Additionally, if the body faces east, it may be blinded by the sun. The multi-day rituals required the bride to travel back and forth between the grooms home and her own, and she was given an umbrella to protect her from the elements and evil spirits as she traveled. If it is determined the wife had committedadultery, the husband will get custody of all the children; with the dowry and an additional fine. A live chicken is tied by up by its feet and stuffed in a bag, awaiting to be sacrificed for the spirit. message that can be personalize then wrapped up and slid into the glass bottle, ready to be gifted. Since the Hmong wedding ceremony is not only a union of the bride and groom, but their entire families to one another, in a true Hmong ceremony, there is no place for a wedding planner, as they cant negotiate for either side of the family. Today, it is also often settled in monetary terms. 1. No, the bride and groom do not exchange vows, but they are indoctrinated and the bride is commended to the care of the groom's family. The elders are the ones who do the wedding negotiations and plans for the couple. 5 Traditional Hmong Ceremonies You Need to Know. It also symbolizes protection from natural elements and evil spirits as the bride travels to and from the ceremony. But many modern couples still choose to include a black umbrella in their ceremony, as a meaningful way to honor their cultural heritage. Following the traditions derived from Lialue and Trumee who were the two sons of the siblings who survived the great flood which cleansed humanity, Hmong weddings typically take two days and one night to complete.Instead of the focus being on the bride and groom, Hmong weddings are about uniting Read more Hmong people see the death of a loved one as a very important part of life. Some couples have two ceremonies -- one traditional, and one modern (to make it legal). The mood will be mournful, but will also be friendly and casual. 3 days after birth, the family calls the spirit again, just for the baby this time, to ensure the baby's safe arrival to our world. Hi Alma!Yes money in any amount is acceptable. On the final day, the family performs a xi. Choose Your Officiant with our "Will You Marry Us?" The parents will not be told, but an envoy from the boys clan will be sent to inform them of the whereabouts of their daughter and her safety. The Hmong New Year celebrationspecifically based on both religious and cultural beliefsis an "in-house" ritual that takes place annually in every Hmong household. For example, one of the terms could be, If your son cheats on our daughter, then she is allowed to divorce him, and the bride price will not be returned. At the ceremony, guests tie a string on the brides and grooms hands to signify the binding relationship. I learned it is something given as a gift in wedding, I was embarrassed I didn't give any, and I just don't want to feel like that again. During this part of the funeral tradition, a qeej player and drummer play ceremonial music throughout the visits. After the shaman is done calling for the spirit, the chicken will be killed and served to the guest of honor. According to Toby Blackstar, a Native American funeral director, the Kiowa believe in-ground burial is the only acceptable way to release a body after death. But you can still bring a respectful gift to a Hmong funeral. If they are pleased, they will protect the believer's descendants from illness and natural disasters. . The washing of feet: This ceremony is based on Biblical scripture John 13:2-5, in which Jesus demonstrates his devotion to his disciples and the humility necessary to serve by washing their feet . Image retrieved from:http://jonwitsell.com/hmong-wedding/. However, the maykong will often invite the rest of the people to join them in eating. The next morning the parents woke up so enraged at theDab Pogthat the spirit couple left.1. 3. COVID-19 tip:If you're planning avirtual Hmong funeralusing a service likeGatheringUs, you can still adapt many of these traditions, like wakes, prayers, and traditional music, to include your online guests. The widow is permitted to remarry, in which case she would have two choices: she may marry one of her husbands younger brothers/ younger cousins (never to the older brothers) or she can marry anyone from the outside clan (beside her own). "The ceremony was first performed in 2007 when I was approached by two American Indian [medical] students who asked me to do a blessing before they worked on their willed body," Gonzales said. These ceremonies take place either to celebrate accomplishments, heal the sick or say good-bye to a loved one. player carries on the ceremonial music alone. Traditionally, Hmong weddings take up to two days. Pinterest. I am so blessed to have such an amazing and supportive family. For many of the Hmong elders, this is in Laos or Thailand. Many mothers have said that these birth beads give them strength and focus during labor. The traditional ceremony, performed by Hmong elder Gnia Vue Lor (Nea Voo Lor) calls attention the past year and calls forth a new year filled with new blessings. The family of the bride will prepare a second wedding feast at their home, where the couple will be married. If no one from the the deceased husbands clan is willing to raise the children, they will follow their mother into her second marriage. 4. The steps and rites in a Hmong funeral are specifically designed to help a soul along its path to reincarnation. I'll explain more in a later post, for now, enjoy the photos from Lillian's Hmong Blessing Ceremony we had today. Here's are some ways to make the mother's blessing ceremony special for a mom-to-be: 1 Ask the Guests to Bring the Beads Get each guest to bring a bead or pick one from a bowl that you have bought. On this second day, many conditions are put on the marriage between the families by negotiators. Non-family members are considered secondary guests at a Hmong funeral. Hmong American weddings are a mix of new and old customs. On the third day, the burial typically takes place. She stood at the front door with her tools, two live chickens and an egg placed in a rice bowl with incense. A Blessingway is an ancient Navajo sacred spiritual ceremony performed by the Navajo people to celebrate rites of passage that occur throughout the entire life cycle. Midway through the departure song, the drummer stops, and the qeej player carries on the ceremonial music alone. 5. Hmong weddings today can take up to one to two days. The Hmong have long been called Miao (alternatively spelled Meo) by Han Chinese, who used the term as a general catchword to refer to all non-Chinese in the south in ancient historical works such . The groom's people "kidnap" the bride. The family then buries the body, traditionally on the side of a mountain, facing west. It is time to send the bride off and things can get emotional. Jefferson, N.C.: McFarland & Company, Inc., Publishers, Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. Blessing her does not have to be only at an official ceremony. After every new mom has a baby, our culture requires us to do a "spirit calling" ritual before the mom-to-be gives birth to make sure both mom and baby arrives safely. HMONG - BLESSING CEREMONY FOR ST. PAUL-CHINA FRIENDSHIP GARDEN Khi Tes emphasizes on gathering love ones to honor and celebrate milestones such as a graduation or any other joyous events. Touch device users, explore by touch . Marriages take place between two clans with different last names. This begins the negotiation process for a bride price. The traditional Hmong religion is animist -- the belief in a spirit world and that all living things are interconnected. However, it is increasingly rare among those Hmong who have migrated to Western nations. A black umbrella might seem like an unusual wedding accessory in some places, but youll always find one at a traditional Hmong wedding -- carried by the bride from start to end. Wedding chants are performed by the maykong at every stage throughout the rest of the wedding. (This is mostly the practice today in many Western Nations). However, being that we live in the US, it is quite difficult for us to find a balance between the two. Twitter. The family has to agree to the marriage and and previous feuds have to be settled in order for a couple to marry. This method is the more honorable and traditional way. The two sons were called Lialue and Trumee. A Hu Plig ceremony was completed to welcome her to the spiritual clan of her husbands family. It is disrespectful to appear arrogant or vain at a Hmong funeral. We believe that when your soul wanders away from your body, is lost, or kidnapped by evil spirits you get sick and modern medicines don't really work. form. The family members are required tonyiav, to mourn for the deceased. Hmong Funeral. The Navajo have a saying, "whatever happens here on Earth must first be dreamed", and that's exactly what a Blessingway does. There is a lot of drinking that takes place throughout the entire wedding. Eat quickly when it is time to eat, so the maykong does not have to wait for you to finish. 2. Polygamy is not generally considered the ideal form of marriage among the Hmong, although it has been documented. My sweet sister in law and brother came over at 5am to help and it was just us until about 7:30 am. After the burial, the 13-day mourning period begins. First drink the glass closer to the tail end of the table. On each pendant hangs a Hmong word that holds a special meaning. The rites will take place in a community center, funeral home, or family home. The burial process must be performed correctly in order to protect those living and the deceased from evil spirits that are present when there is a death. Wedding chants accompany this asking for the umbrella, the cleansing of the house, bidding farewell, thanking the bride's family, and establishing foundations for future marriages between the families. (Cha, 2010). It can be traced back to ancient pagan rites and the beginning of Christianity, as we know it. Tie this string on a loved ones hand to bless the individual to ensure that she or he will receive everything they desire and dream of. LinkedIn. The Iu Mien or Iu Mian people number about 5 million. 1. (Cha, 2010). It can be held any day of the week though it has to be on a good day in the lunar calendar. Throughout the ceremony, the shaman's husband burns pieces of paper money as offerings to the spirits. Explore. Click here to check out the PDF on everything you need to know about Hmong funerals. The middle pile is given to the people who cooked and who will clean up after the ceremony. In Laos, the Hmong lived separately from the Lao people. And so, in a 1,600-square-foot rambler, my family is prepared to jam fifty to sixty people. The ritual of a hu plig can be performed for those who are sick or recovering from a sickness. The bride is not allowed to visit anyones house for three days after this. The couple then enters the house. 2. Hu Plig (who plee), a soul calling ceremony performed by shamans, when the soul has been frightened away. Also, if the husband allows, she can take her children with her. Ive never had a sibling who has been married, so I have never spent more than one day at a Hmong wedding. And although the tradition is quite old, even modern Hmong couples sometimes choose to include a black umbrella in their ceremony out of appreciation for its rich symbolism and history. Lwm Sub: A ceremony before the Hmong New Year. It is the groom's responsibility to know the process of how to go about becoming married in order to spare his family from both money and embarrassment. There is no church, no reception hallthe entire negotiation process and feast will take place at my mother's house. The extended family takes responsibility for pre-funeral preparations and hosting the funeral. During the funeral ceremony, an immediate family member guards the deceased's casket from harm, such as evil spirits. Do not use a cell phone and be attentive. The soul travels back to every place the person ever lived on Earth, ending in the burial location of the persons placenta. It can be anything from wishing one prosperity, wealth, or good luck. We cannot give you customized advice on your situation or needs, which would require the service . A shaman visits the home of the person who needs their soul to be checked on. According to Ya Po Cha, every Hmong home is a shrine, and so, to begin to understand the religious sites where Hmong Shamanism is practiced, it is pivotal to know the components of the conventional Hmong home. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible.