I got pregnant with a 34 year old man with another baby and I'm only 19 we've know each other 3 months now but only knew each other a couple weeks when we found out. Couldn't have said it any better And me too guys. The altnerative is to stay with a woman you don't love and that is a lose-lose all around, even for the kid who will be able to sense his parents don't love each other. or you will be 35 and wondering where your life went and if you'll ever be happy. After a while it was better but even now when we get into arguments he's so controlling and condescending it just makes me like him less and less. 11 Can't Shake The Baby Blues. Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? Now she's pregnant. When he acts OK with the idea and his first instinct is to be happy, you can be sure it's one of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you. I need advice too. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! I don't feel that he is someone that I want to be with forever. He made a baby with you but doesn't seek out or make an effort to spend time with his daughter. The problem I have now is that have a beautiful baby girl with one girl I impregnated whom I dont love. I didn't want to end up starting a family in my 50s. The Preferential Parent. Oh, I agree 100%. Mary Morris Former Bookkeeper Author has 285 answers and 1.6M answer views 2 y I thought the same! When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. You shouldn't have a baby unless you're in a committed relationship and have a foundation of financial and emotional security. Birth control, as the objection went, could actually serve to raise the abortion rate by encouraging people not ready to have children to have sex at the risk, however small, of becoming. I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that The transition from being a couple to having a baby and becoming parents is an exciting, empowering, and life-changing experience. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. What kind of advice do you really want, the best advice would be to take care of your baby, dont let yours and your other half (lool) silly selves to pollute her upbringing. Sex is the leading cause of babies. An increasing number of South Korean women are choosing not to marry, not to have children, and not even to have relationships with men. Tist: 1997-2023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. Don't marry someone you don't love. Think about it if you can't love him ever then end it and learn to co parent. Apparently that first year of raising the child is very stressful, specifically on the relationship. She needs someone that truly loves her. This is it, i went and made my life more complicated than it already was by adding a new factor, a child, to the equation. I know most of yall are gonna tell me to leave him and I wish it was that easy. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. I am at a loss as to what I must do. So here's the long story short My pregnant girlfriend hates me and keeps pushing me away! long story short. I hope everything works out for you. Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours. Why would you do that? What can I do please? I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. I just put myself on hold. Girlfriend Brokeup while pregnant. The baby grew in her, she birthed it, she fed it, and she nurtured it every step of the way. To think about the kids. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. Now it is tearing me apart. Is it okay for you to feel down all the time thinking about the mistake you did? The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. Wasn't looking for a sugar daddy. If only i had acted 2-3 years ago when things were simpler and i was a little younger. Right? Man up and take care of your kid, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you let her, or her family, or your family guilt trip you into "doing the right thing" and marrying her. **** will get tough before it gets better, but it will work out in the end. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. When I did he the. Welcoming your new baby with wishes of health, joy and plenty of sleep. I do love her a lot as a person but i am not in love with her. I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. Just not with her. If I could take a pill that made me love u him I would, whereas I think he thinks he can start a new life if he left me? Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. When we found out this baby is a boy, the feeling of disconnection multiplied; I know this baby is going to be like his daddy. Being pregnant isn't an excuse to work not work, I worked up until I was 38 weeks along by choice. They didn't want to break up the family. I want to be a great Dad, but I don't want to be miserable for the next 18 years - I don't know what to do. I just need to vent and I thought this would be a good place to do it. I tried to keep them happy and not see the fighting. I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? I do feel sorry for you and the situation you are in. YOU CANNOT PROVIDE HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. Having a baby is a life-changing experience and many want to ensure they do it at a time that is right for them. Add to Collection. I used to . It just reads so snobby and lazy. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. Can't and haven't said a word to anyone about how i feel. My girlfriend and I just broke up and she's 3 months pregnant. Just that simple. In other words, those maternal. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means.". Third, if someone chooses to have an abortion that is their choice, not yours. My daughter was born healthy, but of course small. She doesn't want an abortion, and I know it sounds terrible but I keep hoping she will miscarry, however she is 16weeks gone and that's unlikely . I'm in love with a married man And his wife is pregnant. ( though I don't see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. There are reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else that will remind you to be true to yourself. what is de main reason why u do not love her?? HERE YOU GIVE A CHANCE FOR THE MOTHER, THE CHILD, THE FATHER AND THE GIRLFRIEND AT HAPPINESS IN LIFE. I have heard that arranged marriages actually have a better long term outcome because of this. No need to waste time your life and time on him. Also, you must then decide if you want to be in the child's life, how you will coordinate co-parenting a kid when you're not in a relationship, etc. 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. Send all yourrelationship&Loveproblems/issues to me for help via [emailprotected]. You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. I pretended to be. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. Would I do it again? You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. I don't have any memories of them not fighting. Does the father know? But I want to be a father. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. In fact, before we found out I was pregnant (which was completely unplanned) I was thinking of breaking up with him. Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. "People would say, 'I don't want to have a baby because I don't have money or I don't have time or I don't have a partner,'" he says. To start? BE A MANam done. If you don't want to be controlled, don't make yourself 100% dependent on someone. Why can't you go back to doing what you were doing before you met? I really don't want to mess this child's life up. go and apologise. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. We live together, that's all I can say, we have nothing else. It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? We didn't have to be. NOW YOU WONT BE ALWAYS PHYSICALLY THERE, BUT BECUASE YOU ARE A HAPPY PERSON THAT WILL TRANSLATE THAT. NOW WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY OF US HAD MESSED UP CHILDHOOD? Most were married to . 4. She's told me I'll get to see the kid and stuff but she doesn't want me in her life anymore because I make her too unhappy. Life is too short to spend even one month chained to someone you're not in love with. To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. Create an account or log in to participate. Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. "And Maggie Makes Three" is the thirteenth episode of the sixth season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. All rights reserved. You're a mom now. Can you be responsible enough to make sure you are being safe? You have a hard decision to make. It was required that women felt their decreased desire was significantly lower than that of their partner's. The authors interviewed 15 women between the ages of 25 and 59. Probably. You can't force yourself to love him. Likewise, it's also draining, frustrating, and time-consuming. CLARITY friend you do make a lot of sense. I try to act normal as Bella and I sit here talking, even though I'm feeling abnormally attracted to her even . It is tough to find time for yourself, let alone your spouse. Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't. Adults with kids don't need someone else to financially support them. But, learning from the past and making it as a lesson is a different story. THE MOTHER KNOWS THE FATHER DOESNT LOVE HER NOW GUESS WHAT SHE IS ALSO MISARABLE! We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means. Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. I do want to be a father but i always imagined it different, like being with a woman that i am in love with. We are two total opposite people. Why not abortion?? I hope you find what you're looking for. He's not all bad. GET A DNA TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN!!! Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. Please, please do not have an abortion like somebody commented. you have a baby with a girl you dont love,but you loved her apple enough to eat it without any protection?stupid talk,absolute rubbish. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a baby due in July. That's what we tackle in today's blog. Also my ex is unlikely to have children which in her case actually doesn't matter to me. I chose to divorce my husband and my boyfriend of 4yrs has now ditched meit's also the consequence for the actions that I chose GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Be responsible of your act and decision on something. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. Keep looking down and feeling like you don't deserve something good won't get you anywhere. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. It would feel odd. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. She knows him for 9 MONTHS not years. You should have your own baby feelings figured out. For all the guys out there who think a woman is the stepping stone to the next onewear a condom. That showed up as a third factor." Purposely avoiding sex is a great time to have your own awakening Not having sex can be a. We keep them up because there are a ton of great conversations here and we believe you deserve to see them all. Romantic relationship of beautiful couple. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. Do I have to spend the rest of my life with a woman I don't love? If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. He's controlling. Good one boys real mature!! Please I need your help because I might be pushed to get married when am not prepared. I know life would be so much easier if we were together, but I don't know if it's worth it. This is nuts. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. I wish I wasn't pregnant by him. So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has Hi all. Where are you from? 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. advice needed h heatha_heatha Posted 2/4/14 My boyfriend and I have only been together since November. SEE THEM EVERYDAY. I feel like I'm forcing myself to love her. Spend time with like-minded people who love and respect your choices. I sacraficed my needs for them. . This after-pregnancy condition is common, with roughly 70 to 80 percent of new mamas experiencing some degree of sadness. Nobody really knows what to expect when having a baby, but it does change everything, even if you're determined it won't. Some people may view the prospect of that change as scary and they may doubt their parental skills." Be strong. They were always fighting, unhappy. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. Married for few months. However I would like children just not in this circumstance you know? One in 4 women will hang onto 11 lbs. I can't bear the thought of breaking up and not being a part to this child's upbringing. I have read many times that people say don't make any major changes in the baby's first year of life. Ex My moving on process. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. "Most women will find intercourse painful up until the three-month mark," notes Ross.